Are we compatible?

Becoming Compatible

I regularly hear the couples I counsel wonder if they and their partner are compatible.  Soul-mates.  They seem to suggest that if they’re compatible, the relationship may work, but if they’re not compatible, the relationship will fail.  They seem to want me to analyze them individually to see if they “fit” together.compatible

Some couples describe compatibility as having similar enough tastes and preferences – “we like and value the same things.”
Others describe compatibility as complimenting each other – “we just go together; like the right key to a lock.”

Some describe compatibility as not arguing, disagreeing, or fighting too much – “we get along well.”

I also hear couples, some of whom have been together for many years, wonder if they’re no longer compatible – “we’ve grown apart.”


What I’ve found in my work with clients, and in my own marriage, is that relationships change you.  Relationships require growth.  Relationships, particularly our most intimate ones, require that we become compatible.

Achanging is keys we become more intimately aware of our partner, and they of us, our needs & fears become known.  We grow to “fit” each other.

What makes us incompatible is our refusal to grow together.


And by-the-way, rarely is my work with couples related to their compatibility.  It’s usually based upon ways in which they are hurting or scaring each other…


Do less searching for your soul-mate…

Work at becoming each other’s soul-mate.

follow m soul mates tattoo


Share on facebook
Share on linkedin
Share on twitter
Share on email

More Posts

Dating during Covid-19

How is Covid-19 affecting dating? Dr. Morris is featured on another episode of the Coping During Covid show on WLAE.  In this segment, the discussion

Gridlock in Your Relationship?

What is Gridlock? Have you ever had an argument with your partner and thought, “We are fighting about this again?!” At times do you feel

Couples & Covid-19 – what helps?

How is Corona virus affecting couples and families? And how can couples stay strong? Those questions were recently posed to Dr. Matt Morris How is

25 Self Care Ideas by Dr Matt Morriss

Self-Care & Coronavirus

50 Self-Care ideas for the Sequestered… Not a title I ever thought before about writing, but here we are.  Caring for yourself is essential to